No Rules...Just Right

One of the most common frustrations that I have encountered from recovering addicts is the notion that the rules around them "keep changing". This makes sense in treatment environments where numerous unwritten rules exist that don't get posted or even talked about until somebody unwittingly violates one of them. It even makes sense for the white-knucklers doing it with AA/NA that place a great deal of their short-term recovery in the hands of a sponsor. However, for reasons that follow I actually think this is quite a profound realization that recovering individuals stumble on.

Imagine a life that is lived under the Outback franchise philosophy - "No Rules... Just Right". What does that life look like? I would propose that it looks like self-will run riot. It doesn't really matter what people or institutions around you think. Instead, the most important evaluator of the rightness or wrongness of actions is me. As a result the efforts that I make at convincing those around me that what I am doing is acceptable would be entirely for my benefit. I would learn to view myself as both judge and jury to my actions and rarely find fault or need of changing.

Then I embark on a new path. One that begins with an admission that what I've been doing up to this point has not worked -- it's broken. Once I make even the smallest step outside of the comfort of what I have always done I am confronted with some of life's harsh realities, most notably, the facts that a) Life is not always fair and b) Flexibility is key to healthy, productive living. What looks like constantly changing rules is actually you just catching up to where the healthiest among people are actually living. Enjoy the chaos that comes with change - it's the one constant you can always count on!